Part 2 - TW: Emotional Incest and Narcissistic Mothers
Part 2 - TW: Emotional Incest and Narcissistic Mothers
Deets On Emotional Incest
Trigger Warning:
NY 2023 - 10 Years Ago, I Broke Up With My Mother.
Part 2 - TW: Emotional Incest and Narcissistic Mothers
Narcissistic mothers can contribute to or perpetuate emotional incestuous dynamics within a family. A narcissistic parent, often characterized by an excessive need for admiration, lack of empathy, and a tendency to prioritize their own needs over their child's, might engage in behaviors that foster emotional incest without necessarily recognizing it as such.
In the context of a narcissistic mother, emotional incest might manifest through:
Emotional enmeshment: A narcissistic mother might seek emotional validation, support, or companionship from her child, blurring the boundaries between parent and child roles. This can result in the child feeling responsible for meeting the mother's emotional needs, sacrificing their own emotional development.
Lack of boundaries: Narcissistic traits might lead the mother to disregard the child's boundaries and individuality, expecting the child to fulfill her emotional void or serve as a source of constant validation, thereby hindering the child's autonomy and emotional growth.
Over-involvement: The narcissistic mother might involve the child in adult matters, sharing inappropriate information or expecting the child to act as a confidant or emotional support, placing undue emotional burdens on the child.
These dynamics within narcissistic parent-child relationships can contribute to emotional incestuous patterns where the child is entangled in an unhealthy emotional bond with the mother, affecting their emotional well-being and capacity to form healthy relationships in the future. Therapy and support are crucial for individuals who have experienced this, helping them navigate the impact and establish healthier boundaries and relationships.
My birther was a narcissist. More precisely, I belive she has Borderline Personality Disorder with (Covert) Narcistic tendencies. She was always simultaneously the victim and the hero. She volunteered at school (to keep watch on me at all times), but she complained when she couldn’t indoctrinate students. She was everyone’s mom. “Momma Deets”. Except for her own kids.
She was the neighborhood mother. She always had compassion, care, and cash for everyone, while starting rumors about her own kids. I won’t comment on her golden child or her scapegoat, but I was her surrogate husband as my father’s health started failing him. He had a massive cardiac arrest with a quadruple bypass at ~44 years old in ~1994.
When her “kids” weren’t around, it was hostility, gaslighting, and coercion. She chose to stay “trapped” in a marriage she didn’t want… a marriage she herself defiled with adultery and incest. In many ways, my father would have been lucky had the cardiac arrest staken him.
Instead of spending the little life that I shared with my father, I hated him. I saw him as a threat. I saw him as the cause of all of life’s torment. I saw him as… everything my mother wanted to see him as. So, instead of either working on or leaving her own marriage, she made her son her surrogate souse within her marriage.
